One Year anniversary

It is our one year anniversary, almost! We are going away for a long weekend away, it will be lots of fun. I have created a wordle thing for my husband and I. Reflecting back on the first year of marriage and kinda how it has been for us. Its going to be great to get away just the two of us and not have to worry about responsibilities and the mundane things in life!

On another note (was there ever another another note?)

I have been frustrated with life lately, partly because of certain reasons and partly because I sometimes get annoyed very easily by little things. I have no idea why. For example the other day my husband and I came home from working (at the same place), there was lots of washing up to do, tea hadn't been cooked and I was tired. For some reason I got very annoyed and upset because of this. My husband cooked tea and did some of the washing up for me while I sat quietly doing something on the computer and drinking a chamomile tea (which he made me - awwww!). This did help me calm down and feel better. I guess that's just life, things are not always going to be perfect! That's something I need to remember, I tend to be rather perfectionistic and get stressed when it doesn't turn out how I like.

I have been thinking about my favourite movies lately and realised there are quite a few that I like and started sorting them into categories in my mind.

Independent/Foreign/Arthouse:
Paris J'Taime
Amelie
Tideland
I do (French movie - I don't know French name)
Science of Sleep
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
House of Flying Daggers
Hero
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
I love Huckabees
Garden State
Little Miss Sunshine
My best friend (French)
The bothersome man (odd, but interesting concept)

Sci-Fi:
The Matrix (first one only)
Momento
Star Wars - all of them
Star Trek (what I have seen, I liked)
Cypher

Action:
Deja Vu (Sci-fi also)
Domino
V for Vendetta
Batman Begins

Other:
The Illusionist
A beautiful mind (not sure what cateogory this is)
Scent of a woman
Saved
Brokeback Mountain
The Four feathers

Adventure:
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Lion, the witch and the wardrobe
Prince Capsian

Australian:
Rabbit Proof fence
Candy (Heath Ledger is in this one - bonus!)
Strange Bedfellows
Priscilla Queen of the Desert (gosh that made me laugh!)

Family/feel good/ inspirational:
I am Sam
Molly
Benny & Joon
Keeping Mum
Freedom Writers
A bear called Winnie (about the real Winnie the Pooh)
School of Life

Johnny Depp movies:
Benny & Joon
Edward Scissor hands
Chocolat
Ed Wood

I am super tired and I can't think of anymore at this stage, will keep adding some as I remember. I have seen soooo many movies that have impacted me and that I have liked that I can't remember them all.

Photo editing

Today I have been photo editing for part of the day. I had lots of fun editing a photo of a friend and I loved the result. Here it is:























Apart from that I have been busy studying and also had a few part time work days which is great for the extra money. I should have been studying instead of editing this pic, but I felt rather creative so ignored the little voice that said "study girl!! study."
Ah the joys of creativity!

Solution to telemarketer problem

From here.



I think I might need to say a bit about this vid. First of all I have had a few telemarketers ring up lately and they really annoy me. I found this video, it is perfect, funny and so true.

Also the whole site where I found this video has some really funny videos about relationships, sex, and other aspects of life.

Thursday; the new Friday

Thursday has now become Friday in my mind. I used to always clean the house on Friday to prepare for Sabbath etc, but now I like to get the cleaning done before Friday so I can relax and enjoy Friday rather than stress and have to do lots of work. Of course it probably has something to do with the fact that my husband has Fridays off and I want to spend time with him doing whatever. Its sort of messed with my mind and weirded me out a bit as I feel strange not cleaning the house on Friday. I was so used to cleaning on Friday, but now Thursday has become the day to clean.

I do like getting the cleaning done early though.
Cleaning is also calming for me. There's nothing like a good clean to chase away frustration, anxiety and fear.

Really excited!!

I used to live in NZ, in fact I lived there for 16 years of my life, so I am familiar with the culture, accent, food, mannerisms etc over there. There is one particular cookie that NZ makes and sells and I cannot buy it over here. I have missed it very much, its the yummiest cookie I have ever had in my life. Its a large cookie, with massive chocolate chips. I have known and eaten it all my life whilst in NZ. However since living in Australia, I have really missed it. Its called 'Cookie Time.' Due to missing this cookie alot and also being reminded of it on someone's facebook, I decided to research about it and see if I could find out about it online and if there was a way of buying it online. Amazingly enough there is and I am very excited about this. I am going to buy 20 or something ridiculous like that because I have missed them so much. They are $2 each (NZD) which works out cheaper so am going to buy lots. Plus my husband will get to eat some, if he's lucky. I might eat them all. The website is called NZedge and it has lots of NZ stuff on there.

Anyway, am super excited about this, going to buy lots to eat and share (maybe).

The cookie time cookie!

Too long since I last wrote

Thoughts

It has been nearly a month since I last wrote something, a lot has been going on and happening in my life. Firstly I made a decision that I was not going to spend my days attached to a computer, I wanted to do stuff, be more active and proactive, be alive. So I started a new routine, instead of lazing and feeling sorry for myself because I was alone all day or whatever. I decided to do something about it. I got up the same time as my husband (6am) so we could spend more time together and be more of a team and not feel so disconnected from each other. That was great. I also wanted to get the housework etc done early so it was done and I didn't have to worry about it. Anyway. I found it made my life so much easier and I felt happier too. It worked wonderfully for 2 weeks and I was doing it all so well. I have also been exercising for an hour everyday, 6 days a week and feel fantastic. Now I am at the stage where I am struggling to keep the routine going, but I have been pushing myself to keep at it. I have realised that I give up way too easily and then get mad at myself for giving up, but then don't try again. Realising this I vowed to not let it happen again, I must keep at it.
So anyway that is why I have not written anything, I have been busy and happy with my life, till now. Isn't it funny that life can seem so wonderful for a bit and then it goes downhill...
Happens to me all the time, I get so frustrated when that happens. I think to myself, why can't life be easy? Of course I then realise how unrealistic I am being and that its this way for a reason.

Alot has been going on in my head too. I have been thinking and realising that I need to change and be a better person. There are so many things I wish I wasn't. Partly because it hurts me and also because it hurts others. I want to be the person that God wants me to be. That's the journey I am on.

Another thing I am trying to do is to be honest with myself and not deny things. Its so easy to pretend that nothing is wrong and that everything is alright in life. I do not want to be like that. Sadly most of the world is like that, pretend 'its all good' and then try to get on with life. Well I refuse to be like that. I have problems, upsets, make mistakes, get mad, don't forgive when I should, lie to myself about problems, be negative instead of positive, hold onto grudges, stay in my comfort zone, don't reach out to those who need it, try to make my life perfect (not caring about others), judge others, the list goes on...
While it is good to be honest, its also very hard. I hate admitting that I have done something wrong especially to someone I have wronged that I don't know very well (eeek!)
Beside the point though...it is very much a freedom process being honest with myself and others (when I can). I am alot happier for it. Being honest is not the end for me, thats the beginning, it marks the process of change for me.

I have been sewing again finally, and found it to be very fulfilling. I enjoy the process of making an item of clothing from start to finish and then being able to proudly wear something that I made, it is definitely rewarding, alot more rewarding than buying clothes, for me anyway.
When I have finished sewing all items of clothing that I have material for I will have sewn 4 skirts, 1 pair trackpants, spring/summer dress top, polar fleece hoody/jacket. I might put photographs of these items on here when I have finished them. At the moment I have finished 3 of the skirts, the trackpants and nearly finished the top. I am in the process of making the polar fleece hoody.
I don't like following the instructions for the patterns though, they are annoyingly confusing. They say what to do and then don't explain how to do it and show a tiny diagram of how to do it that I can't really see what to do. My husband has been helping me alot with my sewing in the pattern instruction bit anyway...he can understand what to do better than I can. He can sew too, which is good. He sewed himself a polar fleece hoody, I am going to get him to make himself a pair of cord pants. I have the material, just need the pattern, zip, thread and button.

I have been enjoying exercise, I have forced myself to get into a routine. There have been days where I really did not want to go outside, but made myself do it because I knew it was good for me. I didn't regret it. I am also going to try pilates, I have a DVD, and mat. I tried it the other day and it is so hard. All the correct breathing, odd poses and coordination, none of which I am good at all at the same time. I want to learn though. It will definitely be beneficial. In fact, my husband and I would like to do it together three times a week. I think he would benefit from it too, its just a matter of motivation on his part.

That was an odd assortment of thoughts, catch-up and phrases that I can not repeat now. Its all done and has worn me out. I have enjoyed just being able to write again, to get my thoughts flowing out of my mind like a river, its great.

Ok, so I can't change the size of the font in the second half of this post, odd. I have no idea why.

Banksy

TV Has made us Monsters

While I was studying, in one of my art classes all students had to talk about something that they were passionate about - whether it be an artist, book, saying etc.
Anyway one girl in my class talked about this graffiti artist Banksy from London. She was fascinated by his work, she brought along his book to our class so everyone could see his work. I was amazed. It was fascinating work. Since that class alot of stuff happened and changed in my life and I kinda forgot about stuff I had learned. I even forgot his name. Recently though I remembered his work and still could not remember his name. However I googled him and found his name - Banksy. I was looking at his website and also fan page on facebook and was mesmerised once again by his work. It is very thought provoking and interesting. What's more no one knows his real identity and the police want to arrest him because of his supposedly offensive work.
I have added one of his drawings to my blog, I really like this work, it speaks so much more powerfully than words. I also like some of his other drawings from his website, one about the fall of man. There is also one of the Pope flashing and he has legs like Marilyn Monroe, rather random, but funny.

I also liked what he did, he went to the Louvre in Paris and put up a similar painting of the Mona Lisa but with a smiley face over her face, he also put an official looking info card with information on it - it got taken down soon after, but it proved a point. I like his approach. This is a quote of his regarding that incident, "To actually [have to] go through the process of having a painting selected must be quite boring, It's a lot more fun to go and put your own one up."

He primarily works at night, but plans his stencils beforehand. He makes sure no one sees him and spray paints his work onto various places that will have impact on people.

Recent thoughts

Lately I have been thinking a lot about certain things, in particular atheism, evolution, values (morals) and suicide, not necessarily in that order. last Saturday morning I attended a meeting/breakfast thing. It was about realness in life and religion. It was quite interesting, the guy gave a history about evolution, atheism and also schools of thought from Modernism to Post Modernism. I found it fascinating how different schools of thought and philosophers are still influencing our society. The phrase "I think; therefore I am" was said by Rene Descartes in the 1600s and it is still influencing society today. "Therefore, Descartes concluded, if he doubted, then something or someone must be doing the doubting, therefore the very fact that he doubted proved his existence. "The simple meaning of the phrase is that if someone is wondering whether or not he exists, that is in and of itself proof that he does exist" (Wiki site about Rene Descarte). Hmm...I can understand where Atheism fits in. I digress; this talk was interesting. He talked about how postmodernism is impacting our current culture. Post modernism was a movement that began with architecture, however it has moved into all parts of society, even to how people think. "Postmodern architecture began the reaction against the almost totalitarian qualities of Modernist thought, favoring personal preferences and variety over objective, ultimate truths or principles. It is this atmosphere of criticism, skepticism and subjectivity that defines the postmodern philosophy" (Wiki site about Postmodernism). There are no absolutes with postmodernism, what another person believes is ok as long as they are ok with what I believe. In other words it doesn't matter what I believe, it doesn't matter what someone else believes. It's all relative. I remember when I was studying in my first of Uni in NZ I had to do an essay on Cultural Relativism, I can't remember what I wrote, but I do remember being confused. If there is no set law or set of values then how does one know what is right? Relativity is defined as the absence of standards of absolute and universal application. Hm... this was one of the points the guy was trying to make about our society and why it is becoming so confusing to live in. I don't know enough about post-modernism, relativism and such. I do know one thing though, I am a product of the post-modern relative society. Many times I have not said anything about my beliefs because in the end it doesn't matter anyway, who is going to listen to me and who is going to believe that what I believe is right? Its all relative.

Lack of internet...a good thing

For the past week and a bit (nearly 2 weeks) we have had no Internet. It was a Friday afternoon and my husband and I were surfing the net and then suddenly the Internet just stopped working for no apparent reason. It was altogether very frustrating for both of us as we are (he he he) addicted to the internet...(there I said it). My husband called our internet provider to see what the problem was and seeing that it was after hours they weren't there. Unfortunate for us. He did lodge a technical error complaint though. We waited all weekend, eagerly looking forward to the internet working again. But alas it was not to be. Annoyingly enough we were plagued with constant voice recorded phone calls from our internet provider informing us that they were working on the problem. It got rather annoying, to the point that I eventually hung up when I realised what it was.
Days went by and we heard nothing, absolutely nothing. I was getting rather frustrated as I needed the internet to finish some assignments that were due (and still are and are late now). I urged my trusty husband to ring our internet provider again to find out what was happening. They weren't entirely sure what was going on either...so we waited. Whilst waiting my husband and I did some figuring out of our own as to why our internet may not be working. We realised that it was in fact our Router that was not working. After much figuring out and phone calls and also a visit from Telstra (aren't we lucky) we finally sent our broken router back to the company we bought it off and spent the next few days waiting for our new one. When it finally arrived (Wednesday 25th June) I was so glad. Unfortunately I had to wait until my husband came home from work to use the internet as I didn't know how to set it up wirelessly...etc. He had been messing around with it before and had changed the password also and I didn't know the password.

During that time without internet I got to the point where I didn't know what to do with myself...I couldn't work on my assignments as I needed to do research on the internet. It gave me lots of time to relax and do things I had been wanting to do for ages but hadn't. Isn't it interesting how pointless surfing of the internet can waste so much time and when it comes to doing something worthwhile - "I don't have time." Goodness me...I'm a silly.

Not having the internet turned out to be a good thing for me. One afternoon I set up my art studio something I have been meaning to do ever since we moved here, but haven't because "I don't have time." It was so much fun setting it up and putting various things on the walls to inspire creativity and also setting up my sound system (small might I add). It consists of small ipod speakers and my ipod. It isn't the most amazing sound system but at least it plays all my favourite music, which in turn releases my creativity. It didn't take me very long to set up my art studio, maybe 3 hours at the most. Once it was done though, the happiness I felt could not be described. I felt so free, so alive and real. I also had the biggest flow of creative ideas I had had in a long time and am now considering creating some of these ideas.

I had finally created my own creative space, a place where I can be free to be me, to express myself through opinions, ideas and of course some form of art medium. A place I can make a mess in and not worry too much, a place I can think what I want, do what I want and be what I want. I did not realise how important it was to me to have a space that is purely mine to create, think, express and mainly just be...in.

Here is my art studio...a glance into my creative world.







My desk - where all the planning takes place.



My creative wall with some of my artworks on them.



After all being creative is the joy of my life.

I have found it hard now that I have the internet again. I have to learn to share my time with all sorts of things in my life. I particularly don't want to forget about my art studio now that I have the internet again.

On another note. During our internet famine I was often in my art studio creating something...my husband had no idea what to do with himself while I was in my studio. Poor thing...he usually sits on his computer doing something or other on the internet, or he spends time with me. Now that I have my studio....he didn't know what to do. I like my own time and to do my own thing. Even though we are married...I still like doing my own thing and having my own interests which I pursue. I try to encourage my husband to do the same.

In the end I realised how much I had come to rely on the internet for entertainment, ideas and resources. I had lost perspective of my creativity somewhere in the big wide web and now thanks to our router breaking I have regained some sense of creativity and am back on my journey to becoming a creatively in-tune artist, rather than an entertainment hungry consumer.

My Favourite song

I have become a fan of Josh Groban in the past few weeks and now I totally love his songs/music.
"Don't give up/You are loved" is the song that totally sold me on Josh Groban. The words of the song are amazing and the way he sings it is incredible. I had never really been that into Josh Groban. I knew he had a more traditional style of singing and mostly that didn't really interest me. Now it is different, I have changed. I have become a fan...he he he. The more I listened to his music and how he sings, the more I admired him and was glad to become a fan. He has earned my respect and fan(ism?).



Ah yes...I forgot to talk about why I liked this song so much. It is inspiring and positive, I have not found a lot of mainstream songs to be mostly positive, which is unfortunate. Listening to this song also puts me in a good mood, which I am thankful for.

Growing fuel prices

I have found a good animation on the increasing fuel prices...in particular for Australia. Enjoy!
I have been a fan of this animator for a year or so...he has done some good animations. Short and to the point.

Time stealers!!!

There are certain people in our society that steal time; I am talking about telephone sales people that randomly ring up trying to sell some load of crap to me that I do not give a care about and they talk incessantly so I can not say anything to get rid of them (viruses!!). I have had a few such experiences over the weeks/months and I am beginning to hate them. Firstly I am usually in the middle of doing something important or time consuming, like cooking, or trying to do an assignment. As soon as I hear that it's one of 'them' I tune out and start doing things that I can do whilst on the phone, like fold clothes or close the curtains or whatever you can do whilst on the phone and not listening. I then try to look for a spot of silence in the space of incessant and annoying talking that I do not care about to tell them that I am not interested and to STOP wasting my time. They really are time wasters. How do I deal with someone who is first and foremost rude to me and inconsiderate of my time and what I was doing and has no respect for me as a person? All they want is my money (when I have hardly any anyway & certainly not for the likes of them)! How rude!!! It really annoys me and I wish they would just go away and never come back.
It makes me angry that they take advantage of me and push me around because they know that I don't really care and just want them to go away. I feel kinda happy when after 20 minutes of listening to some piece of rubbish about what I can get if I do whatever, I simply tell them 'No I am not interested' and hang up. I feel glad that I wasted their time and they didn't get anything because I said no. But I still wish that I did not have to deal with such annoying people who are leeches.

I feel better I have had my rant.

My cat eyes

I cannot resist putting this photo of Tiger, our cat on my blog. I was following him around the yard the other day taking photos and this photo was one of the many I took. I love it. Although it doesn't capture his personality, it's an effective photo anyways. Looks very impressive as a desktop picture.

WWJD? from a non-Christian's P.O.V

I found this article the other day. It really appealed to me and what Christianity is all about. I liked reading their point of view on the Bible, Jesus and Christianity today. I am questioning the validity of some traditions and religiousness. I found this to be a fresh point of view and also refreshing coming from a non-Christian. I appreciate it when outsiders from Christianity say the truth about what they think. Unfortunately this is not always positive. I take this as advice on what to change and improve on rather than getting offended because someone dares disagree with me.
In fact the whole site that I got that article from has some very fascinating articles and I found them to be informing and thought provoking; which I always like.

Facebook

I found this article that explains Facebook terminology. It's rather funny...I can relate though. I like Facebook chicken, I am doing that. There are some people I would like to add but don't know them well enough to add them, therefore am doing the Facebook chicken...lol.

Facebook has become a culture all of it's own...
I have found so many people that I know/knew from various parts of my life, it is really great to see where everyone is and what they are up to. Some people that I thought I had lost contact with, I found through Facebook. I was quite happy about that as I didn't want to lose contact with them.

Wolf Whistle strip

Ok that is a random sounding title...but I will explain.

A woman in NZ, Kerikeri to be exact was using the atm when some guys wolf whistled at her. Guess what she did! She stripped off her clothes, used the atm and put her clothes back on. She reasoned that she was sick of being wolf whistled at by men so she decided to show them what she had. She also got taken to the Police Station and told that people in NZ don't do that. For the full story read here.

I find this story incredibly funny...and I say 'go girl!' I cannot believe it at the same time, it's such a good statement to men out there who do it.
Another random thing: I used to live in Kerikeri.

Face Transformer

Upload a photo of yourself and transform away....loads of fun! There are different face settings to choose from. It is called Face Transformer.

Myself as a Manga character...hm...

Op Shopping

I love op shopping; the thrill of not knowing what I am going to find. I had the opportunity to do op shopping the other day. I found some amazing clothes for the price. I spent $24 and got about 10 items of clothing; most of which were good quality. I even got a black velvet matching skirt and jacket (which fits me perfectly) - was amazed at this...I love velvet!

Other items of clothing I got:

A big warm long winter jacket (not trench coat style) - ex Target
two cute winter dresses...old school but very hip
purple track pants
Brown dress jacket with missing buttons (am replacing them though)
5 turtleneck/skivvies

I might photograph them at some stage and show off...

It never ceases to amaze me the wonderful clothes I find at op shops...there are some awesome unique clothes.

A window life...?

Where I work, all that I see of the outside world is a small piece of window that is off in the distance. Sometimes I feel that way about my life, as if I am looking at my life from a distance and there is only a small window to see it by. At the moment the sun is shining outside and I can see it streaming across the tree that sits directly across from my desk (outside of course). I wish I were outside instead, basking in the sunlight.

I often wish that I could be in my life as it is, instead of feeling like I am looking from a distance and looking through a window. Of course I am probably over analysing a particular situation. I like to find symbols and deeper meanings in the everyday...it's everywhere; I just have to find it.

Imagine if life were really lived as through it were viewed through a window. It would be a rather vicarious situation.

At the moment I am vicariously living my life outside through the window...

Perfume, fragance and nice smells

I like perfume, I have begun an affair with it in fact. It began when I first smelt J'adore by Christian Dior, that was one amazing smell. It took me so many places when I smelt it. The next perfume I inhaled was Pleasures Delight by Estee Lauder, it is a very beautiful fragance that took me on a heady experience of freshness and fruitiness. Since inhaling those two perfumes I have begun to collect perfume and when I get the chance I try to find more that I am drawn to. My collection so far consists of: Red Door by Elizabeth Arden, Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden, Baby Rose Jeans by Visace, Pleasures Delight by Estee Lauder. Two perfumes that I would love to own would be J'adore by Christian Dior and Tabu by Dana. Each has their own pleasant smelling characteristics which draw me to them.

The thing about perfume which attracts me is being able to complete a look with smell, I believe smell/perfume is the finishing touch to any outfit. There is nothing worse than seeing a really fashionably dressed person and then smelling B.O. on them, not a good look. I must admit though, that I have been a victim of that myself in the past, before I began my love affair with perfume.

I love perfume. I have even considered buying books about the history of perfume and learning about how it came to be so important in culture.

I have had quite a few chats with a work colleague about perfume. He and I have often noted that perfume just goes that extra mile to impress when coming into contact with others. We have discussed perfumes that we like (he likes to choose perfumes for his wife - I think that is so romantic) and he has shared a few that he likes which gave me ideas of what perfumes to try out.

One movie that I found interesting is a French movie called "I Do" (in English, not sure what it is called in French), anyway the main character works for a perfume factory, in fact he creates perfumes. I found this fascinating, to be able to create a scent...and that scent is worn by thousands of people....fascinating. He also had spent his whole life trying to recreate the scent of his first real love....how delightfully sweet. He eventually figured out how to recreate the scent of his first love....I found it fascinating, trying to capture a person through scent. (This is a great movie - although that is not the main story; a smaller sub story which I enjoyed). My husband and I actually saw this movie on our honeymoon and there was hardly anyone in the cinema which we didnt mind at all.

Passion

I am a rather passionate person, however I find my passion comes in bursts and then slowly ebbs away. I am not talking about physical passion, I am talking about passion for life and for various things/hobbies in life. I have so many ideas and goals for my life, then I get overwhelmed i.e. my last post and am not quite sure where I am at. Then I feel really passionate about one or two things, at this stage it is sewing and working on my book of Poems (due out soon - hopefully). Then it goes away somewhat and I find a new thing that I am passionate about. At the moment it is myself and my husband's travel plans to the UK (at the end of next year so far). I am super excited about it and there is so much to plan and lots of money to save up too. We are hoping to live there for two years working full time and traveling when we can. I want to see the house my Dad grew up in in Switzerland, the house is apparently 300-400 years old and three stories. Sounds fascinating to me. I am also excited about using my Swiss citizenship for traveling. I have always used my Australian citizenship and now I will finally get to use my Swiss citizenship.

Back to passions. I am passionate about making this trip happen. I have always wanted to travel, see the world and experience new cultures, like really experience them. Not just get the tourists view of the culture.

I am afraid to say that my passions do not always include the people/things that they should, like my husband, God, family. I get too distracted sometimes by the flashingness of life and get really drawn in. It is hard not to sometimes; I like interesting things and to me these things are interesting.

Dictionary.com defines passionate as: having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling; fervid and also intense or vehement, as emotions or feelings. That about describes what I go through each time I have a passionate stage of a various interest in my life.
I like feeling passionate about something, it makes me feel way more empowered than if I were just doing something because I had to.

Overwhelmed

Lately I have noticed that I have so many things in my life that I want to do and not enough time. This is because my time is often taken up by things that need doing (although I'd rather not do them at all sometimes). I also do not understand TVs, they take up so much time that is mainly pointless. My husband and I don't own a T.V. at all. I was thinking to myself recently how if we did own a T.V. I would never have time to watch it or I would get distracted and watch it and then do nothing with my life. Which I don't really want because there is so much that I want to do with my life and sometimes I just don't know where to start. I also dislike doing menial tasks such as cooking and house cleaning...I think they take up too much time. I would love to own a robot that could do all my housework and cooking for me to allow me to pursue all the things that I want to do. I don't think that will happen anytime soon...unfortunately. Although there is now the technology for it. Hurry up and make it cheap for everyday people!

Back to the point of the whole post. I feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of desires and goals that I have for me life. Like for example I want to travel around the world and get to know lots of different cultures, I want to write a book, I want to write more, I want to create more (art, photos, sculpture, installation), I want to publish all my poems in a book....the list goes on. But back to the reality of my situation...I just can't fit it all in. I have to help maintain the house, cook, clean, study, maintain relationships, work...the list goes on. There are two diverse opposites pulling at me, part of me just wants to go and do all the things that I want to do and then another part of me says "hello!!! There are responsibilities!" I really don't like being responsible sometimes it takes away too much of my life and what I want to do.

Just a thought or two for today.

Secret Stories

I am amazed at the secret things people admit to doing on the MSN site. For example; one woman secretly dated her best friend's brother. She then drunkenly told her best friend that she was dating him. Soon after revealing this to her now ex-best friend she found out she was pregnant by him. She then broke it off with him and moved away and never told him. That wasn't the worst, but I was surprised that she wasn't honest with him about the baby. I think one of the worst was this woman pretending to be a new work colleague at her work and setting up a new email account and then emailing her boss raunchy emails. He then responded with raunchy emails and pictures! She kept pretending for awhile and then ended it and quite her job. That one made me laugh and how embarrassing for the boss. Not that he ever knew.

Some of these stories brought to mind how different my life is to others. They also really interested me in that I can live vicariously through others mistakes and not get the consequences. I don't think I would dare do half of the stuff that has been admitted on there. Although I do think it is a good idea for people to be able to tell their secrets anonymously to get it off their chest and hopefully move on in life. For some though it was sad as they said they would take the secret to the grave with them and never share it with anyone.

I am sure that everyone has secrets of some sort filtered throughout their colourful lives, many would not admit to it. I must admit that I definitely have a secret or two that I would not dare tell anyone, apart from my husband. I think it is important that some things are not mentioned or told to too many people.

Closed doors and secrets...hmm...

Josef Fritzl

Image taken from http://www.independent.co.uk/

This news story has been rather shocking for me, what Father would do that to their child? It never ceases to amaze me the type of things people do. I also think that Josef Fritzl is scary looking and I disagree with the quote, I can believe he would do such horrible things, he looks scary and seedy enough. The poor girl and all her incestual children. What will become of them now? At least the horror is over. Now that it is over they will struggle to know and find what normal is because it was normal for them to be locked in a cellar with no sunlight and who knows what else.

I wonder what went through his head...

Donnie Darko - Mad World

Whilst listening to Mad World from the movie Donnie Darko I am reminded of the fascinating filming from Donnie Darko. It is an interestingly odd movie that I felt drawn to and also frightened by. The strange, odd characters that appear in almost normal situations throughout the movie and yet the movie isn't normal at all. I felt intrigued by Donnie Darko, who like the name suggests is a dark, twisted and confused individual who doesn't know really what is going on and yet at the same time he does. I was also confused by this movie, time seems to go on and on in a circle that doesn't end. Yet it does end. Frank the Rabbit is of course the scariest character of all, he is real, yet he isn't. Frank the Rabbit wears a strange and scary Rabbit suit that looks like the Rabbit from hell. He visits Donnie, tells him things from the future, teaches him about time travel and tells him to do crazy things that often result in consequences.

I think the song Mad World, best describes the movie, Donnie just seems to be going nowhere and in the end he ends up nowhere. At the end its like the future never happened and he is now free.

I didn't particularly like the movie, but at the same time I was drawn into the story. It reminds me of Alice in Wonderland a little bit. There is a rabbit, weird things happen and time goes strange. Maybe its a teenage version of Alice in Wonderland.

I think my favourite character was Roberta Sparrow, the little old lady that stands in the road every day, all day waiting for the letter that never comes. She is in some ways the heart of the story, as she wrote the book that Donnie is reading about time travel. She seems interesting in a strange way also. I can relate to her though, sometimes I feel as I am constantly waiting for my letter to come and it never does.

Anomalous words

In my own little world of confused randomness I begin to type a long sentence of interesting words. I like how words form imaginations of pictures and provocation. I have not long thought of myself as this person who blogs. But for some reason I have now come to be a writer of webbingness. I now wave in all directions for those that can't quite see me. I am here, I am now and I am me. I enjoy creating odd sentences and interesting wordings for myself to enjoy the flavour of. I hope to express my ideas, thoughts and odd ramblings throughout.

The cold world is here now, its fresh and invigorating, along with dark and depressing. It welcomes the dark, damp air into its refreshing chamber of secrets. Not long now and there will be fresh sprinkling of snow on the mountain above. It's too cold to think sometimes and too cold to live a life outdoors in the freshness of air.

Of course this child is meant to be doing something else, something more constructive like studying. At this stage it is easy to be distracted and to think of interesting ways of wording normal sentences.

Enough rambling for one day. Onto the next invigorating and cold day!